Tuesday, July 26, 2022

Short Thoughts: Emotional Work in LARP Running

I frequently get requests as part of LARP running to socially intervene in uncomfortable situations and disinvite people from game. And in those situations, I often get resistance from people when I ask for detailed information about the situation. But what people don't think about is what my experience of the situation is.

People don't realize is that the uncomfortable conversation they want to avoid having is had anyway. They just don't end up being the one having it. I end up having a conversation with someone that ends up being 'someone doesn't want you in game'. But often, I can't do that if I don't have the information, so people get weird and are like, "why do I have to tell you all the details and such?" Because you are asking me to have a very uncomfortable conversation with someone and if I don't have details, then it is infinitely more uncomfortable.

If I have to say to someone, "you aren't allowed at game and I can't tell you why." then I become the bad guy, not just someone difficult to deal with but an arbitrary villain. And so I need to have the information, I need to know why I'm disinviting someone. I need to know that they are an abuser, I need to know that they are a harasser, I need to know that they cheat at game. I need to know these things, because if I don't or if I'm told that I can't talk about them at all, you're just making me be an asshole and that sucks and I'm not getting paid enough to do something that sucks that much.

Remember that emotional work is work and if you are asking someone to do work on your behalf, you should support them doing that work for you in any way you can.

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